Quick and Belated

Today we are 11 weeks pregnant with our adopted embryos!  Sorry for being silent so long, I (Odessa) have not had a 'no-kiddo' day since Oct. 28 and blogging with them home doesn’t seem to happen. 

Things seem to be going well.  We had our 7 week confirmation ultrasound on October 29 and a twin pregnancy was confirmed (pictured in previous post).  At that time we were instructed to make a full intake appointment for 9 weeks.  The appointment on November 4 involved a full lab work up (including 8 tubes of blood taken), health history for every one of my relatives, several questions about any visits to West Africa,  and another ultrasound.

 Green circles are heads and red circles are baby "B"'s arm buds, baby "B" gave us a little wiggle during the ultrasound.

The ultrasound confirmed that we are still having twins!  They are both growing at the same rate and right on target.  Both had a heartbeat of 176 (girls???).  With all things confirmed as looking good we were given the all clear to not visit again until 13 weeks. 

We had written before the 7 week checkup that we were really looking forward to the pregnancy confirmation ultrasound because it would mean we could change forms of medications and no longer have to do shots.  We were so looking forward to giving up this morning and evening routine – but it was not to be.  When we called to order the new meds we found out it would be $1,200 for a 28 day supply and insurance wouldn't cover it.  Financially it wasn't going to work, so we placed the order for 8 more vials of progesterone and 60 more needles and pushed through.  This has been one of the bigger challenges of this whole adventure, not only because it involves needles, but because of the time demand.  We wake up every day extra early to prep a shot, give a shot, clean up, and massage it in; then repeat again at bed time.  We are so excited that this will be done in 6 more days.

Other than the shots, this pregnancy has been fairly similar to the ones I had with the girls.  Nausea, stress headaches, cravings, and other pregnancy symptoms are present but usually manageable.  I do seem to be more tired – but I don’t know if this is because I am carrying twins, I’m 10 years older than the first time I did this, I’m working still part-time, I’m keeping up with my school age kids routines, or all of the above. 

I feel very blessed to be able to carry children again and thank God for all the life He has given my family.

Now to answer some common questions:

“Do you know what you are having?”  No, hopefully babies and not puppies.  It is too early (confirmation through ultrasound is usually at 20 weeks), AND WE ARE NOT SURE WE ARE EVEN GOING TO.

“Do you have names picked out?”  No, nothing is settled.  We don’t feel the need to settle early and may not even settle until they are here.  We have been discussing and are open to suggestions OR for a $10,000 donation to our GoFundMe account you can choose a middle name!  Feel free to post name suggestions in the comments below (if nothing else it will give us a laugh).  We prefer names from literature (Radagast), scripture (Tychicus), or classics (Helen).  Special bonus if you include 'the', 'of', or 'a.'

Here’s to keeping you all guessing!  Thank you so much for following our story of embryo adoption!

First Look at our Babies

Below is a picture of our first ultrasound after the embryo adoption.  I tried to do a video, but couldn't get one that would let me make the cuts I wanted.   So that you can stop holding your breath here is the still shot.

The circles are heartbeats.  If I ever figure out the video, you can watch them.






We have not had time yet to fully process the emotions about what we found, so in a few days we will do a follow up regarding what we think or feel.  Thank you for looking.

A Dad's View

Since there are two sides to all stories (at least) this post is going to be on a guy/husband/father’s view of embryo adoption. 

If there was one thing I learned from my parent’s example it is that if you are able to help someone you do it. I remember several times when we would stop to get gas and someone would have their car hood up.  My dad would walk over, talk for a few minutes get a few magic wands out of the trunk, he called them wrenches, and do something to the car to get the person home or we would drive them home if the car was beyond the tools he had on hand.  I remember one time a pickup hauling a horse trailer was broken down, my dad found out the guy was more interested in getting the horses home than in keeping his truck in great shape.  So dad took a hammer and spike underneath the truck and hit some stuff, then the guy was able to drive off.  All my dad said when I asked him what he did was say ‘I broke the right part.’  When I was much younger my parents would foster several kids at a time.  We were always one of the first families that was called when a neighbors field caught on fire, or when there was hay down and the forecast said that rain was coming.

That being said, I have always had a heart for children who need a home.  Due to Crohn’s disease I am limited in what I can do.  We looked into international adoption, but the stress and food from being overseas for several weeks would be terrible on my system.  Plus many countries have rather stringent financial requirements that we did not meet.  Odessa and I have looked into fostering and adopting from the state, but for some reason those avenues never worked out.  I became frustrated with God.  I remember asking, rather rudely, why he would give me a desire for the better part of my life and then make it impossible for me to fill that desire. 

Then we heard about this crazy embryo adoption thing.  It seemed that a path was opening.  After talking with the doctors everything seemed possible.  But slowly the fatherly worries started to creep in.  Would there be any way we could have enough money to pay for this whole procedure, about ten thousand, out of pocket?  If all three take, will our house be big enough?  What are going to do about a car, none of ours can hold three car seats.  It has been a decade since Odessa was first pregnant, can she hold up to being pregnant again?  What about me, can I handle months of few hours of sleep a night? 

I am very glad that my wife is brilliant and kind.  She reassured me that it is never a good time to have children.  But now, we have many more friends who have kids and will get much more support than our first time around.  As far as finances go, there is never a really good time to have children, just some less bad times.  This time in our lives is a ‘less bad’ time.  As far as being physically up to the challenge, both Odessa and I are in pretty good shape and have learned a lot more about what our bodies need and can care for ourselves much better.

I hope this post has shed some light, and helped everybody to stop thinking that we are in some way brave.  We are just as worried and nervous as you would be if you were doing an embryo adoption.  If you are considering embryo adoption feel free to contact us at the email at right or use the comments below.  

Coming Home - with photos

It has been 2 weeks since we came home from Seattle.  What a 2 weeks it has been.  It took about a week for everything to really sink in.  There is nothing to describe the ride home on Sunday the 21 of September other then surreal.  As Jeff put it on the drive up on Friday we were "engaged" to this project, on the drive home Sunday we were "married".  There was no going back.

First baby picture

All 3 embryos survived the thawing process with some cell loss in each, but not enough to be of concern.  The doctors had been hesitant to put in all three embryos, but we felt very clearly called to close the whole bank of embryos from the family we had chosen.  Coming back to do this again wasn't really an option for us.  We were asked to sign a waiver that we were going against the doctor's recommendations.  All 3 embryos were inserted.

Getting ready to come home (no they aren't that big)

 The red circle has a small, white, comma shape in it which is a small amount of liquid containing all 3 embryos being placed near the uterus lining (the thick dark area).

Then came the waiting phase.  It is really hard to wait.  You know the babies have gone in, but you don't know if they will implant and you will become pregnant.  It can take several days for the embryos to actually attach to the uterus wall and start growing a placenta.   We knew we had a pretty good chance of success because Odessa was healthy, all hormone levels were in the perfect range, and the uterus wall was really thick.  But still you wait - usually 2 weeks to confirm with a blood test. 

In anxious anticipation most women will take several pregnancy tests at home during this time.  Some research online recommended a 9 day wait after day of embryos being put in (which puts you at the first day of a missed cycle in normal terms) to do a home test.  We wanted to wait until we would have a sure positive.  But tests come in boxes of 2 so of course Odessa decided to take one early...just to see:

Positive!! Just 7 days after the embryos were put in. BTW this mean NOTHING with trying to guess how many babies took.

Because we had a positive test so early, the RN moved the 2 week wait day up by 4 days to check for the pregnancy hormone hCG.  First check was a excellent level of 579 and a second check 49 hours later showed a 63% raise - a very good sign.  And we are done with blood draws!!!

The second week signs of being pregnant definitely started showing up.  Light morning sickness, fatigue, an already growing belly, and one crippling migraine have all joined us.

5 Weeks!!

Yes we are already 5 weeks along!  This is because of the age of the embryos and how pregnancy is counted from the first day of a woman's last menstrual cycle.  Our due date is June 8 if Odessa is able to carry full term (often pregnancies with multiples come early, but give Odessa's track record we will probably be just fine).

What are we doing now?  Most medications have stopped except vitamins, vitamins, vitamins!  A small amount of estrogen.  Oh, and progesterone shots - now twice a day.  Apparently with everything that is done to receive IVF embryos, a woman's system is completely shut down and won't make progesterone for itself once pregnant.  This is the hormone that keeps the body from immediately miscarrying.  It is very important. 

Odessa had had a small amount of cramping early on (felt very much like her earlier pregnancies) and the RN was concerned.  The RN wanted no uterus cramping at all and changed our protocol from 1 shot of 2cc once a day to 1.5cc twice a day.  For those who haven't seen how much that is before - it is alot of liquid for a shot.  This task has taken it's toll on Jeff as well as he has to administer the shots.  He hates needles and he has to massage in the oil for about a half hour after each shot.  His fourarms are getting quite buff!  But his hands are often numb.

What is next?  We have an ultrasound scheduled with a local OBGYN for October 21.  We should be able to see how many babies took and if we have good strong heart beats - we get to quit the shots.  We will have to continue supplementing progesterone until we are 13 weeks, but we can change to a different type.  

We feel as if leaps and bounds have been taken in our adoption journey, but there are still many unknowns, just as with any pregnancy.  We pray for strength to parent the children God has given us and for their safety.  They are truly in His hands.

The Journey Home Has Begun

Today was implantation day. Things went really well, all three embryos survived the thaw. So we were able to have all 3 put in. There is still no guarantee on how many will take. The doctors are hoping for no more than 2 to lower risks, but we are confident that God will bless us with the family we are supposed to have and the strength and wisdom to raise them. Thank you everyone for your support, we feel so loved.

This is it!

Hello Friends,

Exciting news.  We are heading out in seven minutes to go to Seattle where we will have our adopted embryos implanted!

Saturday morning at 11:45 Odessa will get pregnant. The whole procedure will take about 10 -15 minutes.  Then we will have to have a very relaxing day, want to give the embryos a chance to get attached to the womb lining.

We would like to thank Jon and Jessica for letting us stay at their place in Seattle, John and Kelly for taking our oldest to a cross country meet while we are gone, and Greg for staying at the house and keeping the animals alive!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we travel.  Especially pray for our babies as they thaw and 'wake up'.

God, in whom 'we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28), bless our little ones with safety.  We know that "in [your] hand is the live of every creature" (Job 12:10) and that You desire to knit and build life in a way pleasing to You.  My Father God "who forms [people] in the womb...maker of all things, who stretches out the heavens, who spreads out the earth by [Yourself] (Psalm 139:13) please grant us Your continuing favor and peace "which transcends all understanding" (Phil 4:7).  God, guide the doctors and nurses, hold their hands and their minds, keep them focused.  Give us strength, give us Yourself.  Thank you.

The Kershner's

what we know about our future kids

In May we were able to view profiles of embryo banks up for adoption at Overlake Reproductive Health.  We knew we wanted to “empty” a bank and bring closure to the family who opted to store these babies.  We will never meet the people who chose to have these children created but we respect their choice to give these children a chance.  Because of this reason, we only looked at the banks the clinic had on hand with 3 or less embryos….which brought it down to 2 banks.  After reading both profiles, we both choose the same bank.

Reading the profiles was a surreal experience.  The massive document contained everything from what medications the genetic parent’s grandfather took to which celebrity he/she most looked like.  From reading the profiles we learned about the genetic parents education levels, their careers, hobbies, how they respond to stress and their reasoning for donating.  We reviewed the health history and found the bank with what we consider the most desirable traits.  It was hard choosing, and very godlike.  We had to agree before we started reading that both groups were equally worthy and in need of a home.  By picking one group we were just extending extra grace to them, not disapproving of the other.

The day we choose, our family became a blended race family and our hearts expanded enough to love 3 more.  These children are the result of a Korean egg and a Chinese sperm. Both healthy donors, not related to each other or to the couple who had the embryos created and stored.  So our kids will have two sets of unknown parents (genetic, and creation) and us, the birth parents.

In August we learned that our 3 embryos have been frozen for nearly 4 years and were already 5 days old when frozen.  At this age, embryos are a full blastocyst.  This means that several cell divisions have taken place and 2 types of cells are present; those which are the baby and those that will become the placenta (more info in this post).    Due to the technology that was used at the time, each embryo has as 60-80% chance of surviving thaw and successfully attaching to the uterus lining.

We pray for the safety of all of our children, but God knows when all of these souls are to join Him.  Not knowing how many of our embryos will reach birth is very difficult, but at least they will have been given a chance and either way their soul will have peace.