A Dad's View

Since there are two sides to all stories (at least) this post is going to be on a guy/husband/father’s view of embryo adoption. 

If there was one thing I learned from my parent’s example it is that if you are able to help someone you do it. I remember several times when we would stop to get gas and someone would have their car hood up.  My dad would walk over, talk for a few minutes get a few magic wands out of the trunk, he called them wrenches, and do something to the car to get the person home or we would drive them home if the car was beyond the tools he had on hand.  I remember one time a pickup hauling a horse trailer was broken down, my dad found out the guy was more interested in getting the horses home than in keeping his truck in great shape.  So dad took a hammer and spike underneath the truck and hit some stuff, then the guy was able to drive off.  All my dad said when I asked him what he did was say ‘I broke the right part.’  When I was much younger my parents would foster several kids at a time.  We were always one of the first families that was called when a neighbors field caught on fire, or when there was hay down and the forecast said that rain was coming.

That being said, I have always had a heart for children who need a home.  Due to Crohn’s disease I am limited in what I can do.  We looked into international adoption, but the stress and food from being overseas for several weeks would be terrible on my system.  Plus many countries have rather stringent financial requirements that we did not meet.  Odessa and I have looked into fostering and adopting from the state, but for some reason those avenues never worked out.  I became frustrated with God.  I remember asking, rather rudely, why he would give me a desire for the better part of my life and then make it impossible for me to fill that desire. 

Then we heard about this crazy embryo adoption thing.  It seemed that a path was opening.  After talking with the doctors everything seemed possible.  But slowly the fatherly worries started to creep in.  Would there be any way we could have enough money to pay for this whole procedure, about ten thousand, out of pocket?  If all three take, will our house be big enough?  What are going to do about a car, none of ours can hold three car seats.  It has been a decade since Odessa was first pregnant, can she hold up to being pregnant again?  What about me, can I handle months of few hours of sleep a night? 

I am very glad that my wife is brilliant and kind.  She reassured me that it is never a good time to have children.  But now, we have many more friends who have kids and will get much more support than our first time around.  As far as finances go, there is never a really good time to have children, just some less bad times.  This time in our lives is a ‘less bad’ time.  As far as being physically up to the challenge, both Odessa and I are in pretty good shape and have learned a lot more about what our bodies need and can care for ourselves much better.

I hope this post has shed some light, and helped everybody to stop thinking that we are in some way brave.  We are just as worried and nervous as you would be if you were doing an embryo adoption.  If you are considering embryo adoption feel free to contact us at the email at right or use the comments below.