A Little Math and An Invitation

This week we reached 13 weeks pregnant with our embryo adoption!

"YAY!" for being done with the first trimester - but symptoms still persist.  The nausea isn't nearly as bad, but the fatigue is still very much present.  Keeping up with the house seems to be a daunting task most days, but luckily I have a very capable and understanding family when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and housework.  They have all taken on extra tasks, or graciously looked the other way from undone tasks, and for this I am very grateful.  

While the side effects of a healthy first trimester are not quite behind us, the joys of the second are starting to arrive.  I feel the babies several times a day already (remember they are running out of room in there twice as fast) and both Jeff and Heidi have gotten to feel them as well.  Clara is very patiently waiting her turn!

It has been 10 days since our last shot and a week since all other supplemental meds have stopped. Yay!  Our mornings and evenings are much more relaxed around here.  

Just to give you an idea of what we did:

200ml = .84 cups = 130 needles over 2.5 months

Looks about like this!!

We had another ultrasound and the girls got their first chance to see the babies.  Babies appear to be healthy and growing at the same rate - which is very good.  Their heart beats have slowed to 150, but are still really healthy.  The girls crowded around a tiny screen to get a peak at their siblings with great enthusiasm, it was so good to see them excited.  We are very blessed parents.

And we would now like to extend to you an invitation:

This Sunday, Dec. 7, 2014, at 4;00pm, we will be sharing our full embryo adoption journey at Evangelical Bible Church in Dallas (please e-mail address in side bar for address).  We would love to see our followers there in support of our journey.  Many thanks, Jeff and Odessa

Quick and Belated

Today we are 11 weeks pregnant with our adopted embryos!  Sorry for being silent so long, I (Odessa) have not had a 'no-kiddo' day since Oct. 28 and blogging with them home doesn’t seem to happen. 

Things seem to be going well.  We had our 7 week confirmation ultrasound on October 29 and a twin pregnancy was confirmed (pictured in previous post).  At that time we were instructed to make a full intake appointment for 9 weeks.  The appointment on November 4 involved a full lab work up (including 8 tubes of blood taken), health history for every one of my relatives, several questions about any visits to West Africa,  and another ultrasound.

 Green circles are heads and red circles are baby "B"'s arm buds, baby "B" gave us a little wiggle during the ultrasound.

The ultrasound confirmed that we are still having twins!  They are both growing at the same rate and right on target.  Both had a heartbeat of 176 (girls???).  With all things confirmed as looking good we were given the all clear to not visit again until 13 weeks. 

We had written before the 7 week checkup that we were really looking forward to the pregnancy confirmation ultrasound because it would mean we could change forms of medications and no longer have to do shots.  We were so looking forward to giving up this morning and evening routine – but it was not to be.  When we called to order the new meds we found out it would be $1,200 for a 28 day supply and insurance wouldn't cover it.  Financially it wasn't going to work, so we placed the order for 8 more vials of progesterone and 60 more needles and pushed through.  This has been one of the bigger challenges of this whole adventure, not only because it involves needles, but because of the time demand.  We wake up every day extra early to prep a shot, give a shot, clean up, and massage it in; then repeat again at bed time.  We are so excited that this will be done in 6 more days.

Other than the shots, this pregnancy has been fairly similar to the ones I had with the girls.  Nausea, stress headaches, cravings, and other pregnancy symptoms are present but usually manageable.  I do seem to be more tired – but I don’t know if this is because I am carrying twins, I’m 10 years older than the first time I did this, I’m working still part-time, I’m keeping up with my school age kids routines, or all of the above. 

I feel very blessed to be able to carry children again and thank God for all the life He has given my family.

Now to answer some common questions:

“Do you know what you are having?”  No, hopefully babies and not puppies.  It is too early (confirmation through ultrasound is usually at 20 weeks), AND WE ARE NOT SURE WE ARE EVEN GOING TO.

“Do you have names picked out?”  No, nothing is settled.  We don’t feel the need to settle early and may not even settle until they are here.  We have been discussing and are open to suggestions OR for a $10,000 donation to our GoFundMe account you can choose a middle name!  Feel free to post name suggestions in the comments below (if nothing else it will give us a laugh).  We prefer names from literature (Radagast), scripture (Tychicus), or classics (Helen).  Special bonus if you include 'the', 'of', or 'a.'

Here’s to keeping you all guessing!  Thank you so much for following our story of embryo adoption!

First Look at our Babies

Below is a picture of our first ultrasound after the embryo adoption.  I tried to do a video, but couldn't get one that would let me make the cuts I wanted.   So that you can stop holding your breath here is the still shot.

The circles are heartbeats.  If I ever figure out the video, you can watch them.






We have not had time yet to fully process the emotions about what we found, so in a few days we will do a follow up regarding what we think or feel.  Thank you for looking.

A Dad's View

Since there are two sides to all stories (at least) this post is going to be on a guy/husband/father’s view of embryo adoption. 

If there was one thing I learned from my parent’s example it is that if you are able to help someone you do it. I remember several times when we would stop to get gas and someone would have their car hood up.  My dad would walk over, talk for a few minutes get a few magic wands out of the trunk, he called them wrenches, and do something to the car to get the person home or we would drive them home if the car was beyond the tools he had on hand.  I remember one time a pickup hauling a horse trailer was broken down, my dad found out the guy was more interested in getting the horses home than in keeping his truck in great shape.  So dad took a hammer and spike underneath the truck and hit some stuff, then the guy was able to drive off.  All my dad said when I asked him what he did was say ‘I broke the right part.’  When I was much younger my parents would foster several kids at a time.  We were always one of the first families that was called when a neighbors field caught on fire, or when there was hay down and the forecast said that rain was coming.

That being said, I have always had a heart for children who need a home.  Due to Crohn’s disease I am limited in what I can do.  We looked into international adoption, but the stress and food from being overseas for several weeks would be terrible on my system.  Plus many countries have rather stringent financial requirements that we did not meet.  Odessa and I have looked into fostering and adopting from the state, but for some reason those avenues never worked out.  I became frustrated with God.  I remember asking, rather rudely, why he would give me a desire for the better part of my life and then make it impossible for me to fill that desire. 

Then we heard about this crazy embryo adoption thing.  It seemed that a path was opening.  After talking with the doctors everything seemed possible.  But slowly the fatherly worries started to creep in.  Would there be any way we could have enough money to pay for this whole procedure, about ten thousand, out of pocket?  If all three take, will our house be big enough?  What are going to do about a car, none of ours can hold three car seats.  It has been a decade since Odessa was first pregnant, can she hold up to being pregnant again?  What about me, can I handle months of few hours of sleep a night? 

I am very glad that my wife is brilliant and kind.  She reassured me that it is never a good time to have children.  But now, we have many more friends who have kids and will get much more support than our first time around.  As far as finances go, there is never a really good time to have children, just some less bad times.  This time in our lives is a ‘less bad’ time.  As far as being physically up to the challenge, both Odessa and I are in pretty good shape and have learned a lot more about what our bodies need and can care for ourselves much better.

I hope this post has shed some light, and helped everybody to stop thinking that we are in some way brave.  We are just as worried and nervous as you would be if you were doing an embryo adoption.  If you are considering embryo adoption feel free to contact us at the email at right or use the comments below.  

Coming Home - with photos

It has been 2 weeks since we came home from Seattle.  What a 2 weeks it has been.  It took about a week for everything to really sink in.  There is nothing to describe the ride home on Sunday the 21 of September other then surreal.  As Jeff put it on the drive up on Friday we were "engaged" to this project, on the drive home Sunday we were "married".  There was no going back.

First baby picture

All 3 embryos survived the thawing process with some cell loss in each, but not enough to be of concern.  The doctors had been hesitant to put in all three embryos, but we felt very clearly called to close the whole bank of embryos from the family we had chosen.  Coming back to do this again wasn't really an option for us.  We were asked to sign a waiver that we were going against the doctor's recommendations.  All 3 embryos were inserted.

Getting ready to come home (no they aren't that big)

 The red circle has a small, white, comma shape in it which is a small amount of liquid containing all 3 embryos being placed near the uterus lining (the thick dark area).

Then came the waiting phase.  It is really hard to wait.  You know the babies have gone in, but you don't know if they will implant and you will become pregnant.  It can take several days for the embryos to actually attach to the uterus wall and start growing a placenta.   We knew we had a pretty good chance of success because Odessa was healthy, all hormone levels were in the perfect range, and the uterus wall was really thick.  But still you wait - usually 2 weeks to confirm with a blood test. 

In anxious anticipation most women will take several pregnancy tests at home during this time.  Some research online recommended a 9 day wait after day of embryos being put in (which puts you at the first day of a missed cycle in normal terms) to do a home test.  We wanted to wait until we would have a sure positive.  But tests come in boxes of 2 so of course Odessa decided to take one early...just to see:

Positive!! Just 7 days after the embryos were put in. BTW this mean NOTHING with trying to guess how many babies took.

Because we had a positive test so early, the RN moved the 2 week wait day up by 4 days to check for the pregnancy hormone hCG.  First check was a excellent level of 579 and a second check 49 hours later showed a 63% raise - a very good sign.  And we are done with blood draws!!!

The second week signs of being pregnant definitely started showing up.  Light morning sickness, fatigue, an already growing belly, and one crippling migraine have all joined us.

5 Weeks!!

Yes we are already 5 weeks along!  This is because of the age of the embryos and how pregnancy is counted from the first day of a woman's last menstrual cycle.  Our due date is June 8 if Odessa is able to carry full term (often pregnancies with multiples come early, but give Odessa's track record we will probably be just fine).

What are we doing now?  Most medications have stopped except vitamins, vitamins, vitamins!  A small amount of estrogen.  Oh, and progesterone shots - now twice a day.  Apparently with everything that is done to receive IVF embryos, a woman's system is completely shut down and won't make progesterone for itself once pregnant.  This is the hormone that keeps the body from immediately miscarrying.  It is very important. 

Odessa had had a small amount of cramping early on (felt very much like her earlier pregnancies) and the RN was concerned.  The RN wanted no uterus cramping at all and changed our protocol from 1 shot of 2cc once a day to 1.5cc twice a day.  For those who haven't seen how much that is before - it is alot of liquid for a shot.  This task has taken it's toll on Jeff as well as he has to administer the shots.  He hates needles and he has to massage in the oil for about a half hour after each shot.  His fourarms are getting quite buff!  But his hands are often numb.

What is next?  We have an ultrasound scheduled with a local OBGYN for October 21.  We should be able to see how many babies took and if we have good strong heart beats - we get to quit the shots.  We will have to continue supplementing progesterone until we are 13 weeks, but we can change to a different type.  

We feel as if leaps and bounds have been taken in our adoption journey, but there are still many unknowns, just as with any pregnancy.  We pray for strength to parent the children God has given us and for their safety.  They are truly in His hands.

The Journey Home Has Begun

Today was implantation day. Things went really well, all three embryos survived the thaw. So we were able to have all 3 put in. There is still no guarantee on how many will take. The doctors are hoping for no more than 2 to lower risks, but we are confident that God will bless us with the family we are supposed to have and the strength and wisdom to raise them. Thank you everyone for your support, we feel so loved.

This is it!

Hello Friends,

Exciting news.  We are heading out in seven minutes to go to Seattle where we will have our adopted embryos implanted!

Saturday morning at 11:45 Odessa will get pregnant. The whole procedure will take about 10 -15 minutes.  Then we will have to have a very relaxing day, want to give the embryos a chance to get attached to the womb lining.

We would like to thank Jon and Jessica for letting us stay at their place in Seattle, John and Kelly for taking our oldest to a cross country meet while we are gone, and Greg for staying at the house and keeping the animals alive!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we travel.  Especially pray for our babies as they thaw and 'wake up'.

God, in whom 'we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28), bless our little ones with safety.  We know that "in [your] hand is the live of every creature" (Job 12:10) and that You desire to knit and build life in a way pleasing to You.  My Father God "who forms [people] in the womb...maker of all things, who stretches out the heavens, who spreads out the earth by [Yourself] (Psalm 139:13) please grant us Your continuing favor and peace "which transcends all understanding" (Phil 4:7).  God, guide the doctors and nurses, hold their hands and their minds, keep them focused.  Give us strength, give us Yourself.  Thank you.

The Kershner's

what we know about our future kids

In May we were able to view profiles of embryo banks up for adoption at Overlake Reproductive Health.  We knew we wanted to “empty” a bank and bring closure to the family who opted to store these babies.  We will never meet the people who chose to have these children created but we respect their choice to give these children a chance.  Because of this reason, we only looked at the banks the clinic had on hand with 3 or less embryos….which brought it down to 2 banks.  After reading both profiles, we both choose the same bank.

Reading the profiles was a surreal experience.  The massive document contained everything from what medications the genetic parent’s grandfather took to which celebrity he/she most looked like.  From reading the profiles we learned about the genetic parents education levels, their careers, hobbies, how they respond to stress and their reasoning for donating.  We reviewed the health history and found the bank with what we consider the most desirable traits.  It was hard choosing, and very godlike.  We had to agree before we started reading that both groups were equally worthy and in need of a home.  By picking one group we were just extending extra grace to them, not disapproving of the other.

The day we choose, our family became a blended race family and our hearts expanded enough to love 3 more.  These children are the result of a Korean egg and a Chinese sperm. Both healthy donors, not related to each other or to the couple who had the embryos created and stored.  So our kids will have two sets of unknown parents (genetic, and creation) and us, the birth parents.

In August we learned that our 3 embryos have been frozen for nearly 4 years and were already 5 days old when frozen.  At this age, embryos are a full blastocyst.  This means that several cell divisions have taken place and 2 types of cells are present; those which are the baby and those that will become the placenta (more info in this post).    Due to the technology that was used at the time, each embryo has as 60-80% chance of surviving thaw and successfully attaching to the uterus lining.

We pray for the safety of all of our children, but God knows when all of these souls are to join Him.  Not knowing how many of our embryos will reach birth is very difficult, but at least they will have been given a chance and either way their soul will have peace.

Quick Update

We just got back from one of our final trips up to Seattle to visit the clinic that will perform the embryo transfer for our adoption.  We left Saturday afternoon, drove six hours slept at Jeff’s folks house, had a very short appointment and then drove six hours back.  We are tired.  It has been a long week with a lot of our time being focused on the adoption.  In the last 2.5 weeks there have been 2 ultrasounds, 3 blood draws, and 5 shots. 

Nervousness has crept in – implantation day is really close and really happening!  We pour over the written schedule of when meds are to be given, concerned about not messing it up.  How do you handle having a busy life when new things get added to it?

It has been a blessing that all tests have been passed perfectly and nothing has had to change from the original plan.

Tomorrow things go up a notch.  We start 3 new meds, plus daily shots.  Once again, hopefully for a final time, we will travel to Seattle at the end of the week. 

Please keep us in your hearts and prayers during this final week as we prepare to bring our un-born babies home.  

The First Six Months

At the time of the beginning of this blog, we are already 6 months into our adoption story.  We want to share the story from the beginning, so we are going to back step a little and tell you some of what we have already been through. 

In January 2014 we discovered a magazine article from our alma mater (page 7) about a family who took these steps before us – a seed was planted.  Awhile later, Odessa brought the subject up and Jeff didn't have a heart attack (which was the anticipated reaction).  Instead, he said, “Why don’t you do some research.”

After looking up clinics online and having several family discussions we arragned for a consultation appointment on April 8. Questions were answered and God has kept doors open in amazing ways ever since.  And we started, Odessa was going to be able to carry and birth the children brought by adoption to our family.

The past 6 months haven’t been spent just waiting.  They have be spent in preparing Odessa’s body to receive the embryos.  The goal is to have a healthy baby.  To have the best chance of this happening, hormones are used to force the uterus to become the best environment possible.  In truth, this has not been the most comfortable process.  Resetting a natural system then rebuilding it causes a lot of changes in mood, weight, attitude, emotions, and many migraines.  Knowing it was for our babies was sometimes the only reason we didn't give up.

Originally we were set to have a June implantation date, but due to some unsatisfactory results on some diagnostics tests early on we were unable to complete the implantation at that time.  For the safety of the embryos, the freezer they are kept in is only opened a few times during the year.  Since we missed the June date, we were put on hold via hormones for the next date, which is September 20.   

In 10 days our babies start their journey “home”.

What is embryo adoption anyway?

          Several people have asked us ‘what in the world is embryo adoption?’  Here is a layman’s view on it.

When a person has trouble becoming pregnant they have a few options.  Some decide to pursue a traditional adoption, others enter into fertility treatment.  There are a bunch of steps in the fertility treatment world including hormone treatments, surgery, and the last one is called In Vitro Fertilization.  In this process a woman has many eggs removed and stored, and a male supplies thousands of sperm cells.  The doctors do some ‘science-y’ stuff to get the egg and sperm together in a laboratory environment. I’m pretty sure they don’t just shake it in a test tube, but maybe.  After the egg and sperm meet they are given several days to grow and develop.  After cell division has begun it is referred to as a Blastocyst.  Once the blastocyst has had around five days it is frozen (again very science-y).  It should look like the below picture, notice that there are two different cell types, the edge (trophectoderm= placenta) and the center ones (Inner Cell Mass = baby). 

  Once the woman’s body is in a good state to accept the blastocyst it is implanted into her womb hopefully this results in a pregnancy- without the trouble of having to have sex!  However, sometimes the embryo (the next stage of development) doesn't develop so they use another.  This is why they take several eggs.  Often if a family wants multiple children they will hold the rest of the embryos in the freezer until the family is ready for them.  For a better explanation see http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007279.htm

'See the baby?'  'Yeah, it's cute'

        So if a family has 10 eggs taken and turned into embryos they can expect that a few will fail.  A question arises about what to do with the ‘left over’ ones.  Many families have decided to have those embryos destroyed.  Some families though continue to pay for the storage and upkeep of the embryos and to put them up for adoption.  This is where folks like my wife and I come into the picture.  Basically, we go through the same steps except they don’t take any of our eggs or sperm.  We get in on the process at the point of getting the womb into good shape for these little ones.  This entails lots of hormone therapy for Odessa.  This is not the most pleasant experience at all, but in the end it will be worth it. 

Technically you should say we are doing a blastocyst adoption, but that would be even more confusing, people would think we were adopting a young superhero.

Does this summary of embryo adoption clear things up?  If you have other questions please post them in the comments below.

How is this different from traditional adoption

We have been asked, “Why don’t you adopt children who are already here?”  To which we answer, “They are children who are already here”.  These children do have life.  Cell division has begun. A soul has been created.  They deserve a chance to live.  Let that sink in for a minute… this is human life.

But there are differences to a “traditional” adoption. 

First of all, in the eyes of the medical society and government this is treated as a medical tissue transfer, no different than an organ transplant.  Which has its benefits and drawbacks.  Since it is not recognized as adoption, there is no program for funding it, either before or after (such as with taxes credits), and no accountability – which can be kinda scary.  On the other hand, there also is no waiting or preparing on background checks, home studies, and dossier.  All of which we completely support in the traditional adoption setting.  These are all safety guidelines in places to ensure that children are being placed in healthy, loving, supporting homes that best fit their needs.  The difference is their needs are already known.  Some need to be placed in a specific environment.  The best environment for our future children is currently a womb.  There are still many necessary steps taken that endure that this environment is healthy.  Not all of them are easy, comfortable or quick.  They are simply different.

On the medical side of things, while this is not viewed as adoption – it is also not viewed as medical necessity, such a fertility treatments or diagnostics work.  It is not covered by insurance until pregnancy is confirmed, at which point it is treated as a usual pregnancy.  

The travel visits of a traditional adoption (local or international) have become many trips to our providing clinic in Seattle. 

Home studies become hormone treatments.

Waiting for a court date becomes waiting for a positive pregnancy test.

There are similar things as well.  Answering all the “why” questions from friends and family, waiting, the difficulty choosing your future children, waiting, preparing your home, and more waiting.

While there are many similarities and differences, the end goal is the same – to give a child a loving home.

Why we look to adopt.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

But to all who believe in him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.

John 1:12

God set up the plan for adoption.  It is all through scripture – Moses and Esther were both adopted.  God has adopted us to be his children.  So since we feel called, how could we not do it?

The next question asked is, “Why embryo adoption?”

Dr. Suess’s Horton answers that best, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Psalm 17:15b

We believe life begins at conception, even if that conception began in a petri dish.  Life has begun, cell division is there to prove it, within hours of creation and before they are frozen.  Just like every other child in the world, they did not choose to be created but they are here now and deserve a chance to live.

We have always felt called to have kids and help them in whatever ways we can.  God has blessed us with 2 beautiful biological daughters, but we have known for awhile that our family wasn't complete.  Even before we were married, the topic of adoption came up.  We believed that some children in the world need help and we hoped to make a difference for them.

We began looking for options to grow our family through non-biological means after learning of Jeff’s genetic problems (Crohn’s disease, celiacs).  We considered foster/local adoption (even took the starting classes – twice), but that didn't seem to fit our family currently due to the time commitment required for high needs kids (though we may revisit this once the children in our home are older).  We have looked at international adoption, but cost, having young children at home, and travel concerns with Jeff’s health held us back.  God continued to keep doors closed as we explored options – for years.  Now that we have taken steps into embryo adoption it is amazing to look back and see how God has already opened so many doors for this to happen.

We love life.  This is as an opportunity to give life to the smallest, expand our family, and bring awareness of the 600,000 who are waiting for a chance to live a full life. 

We hope that you follow our journey.