New Questions

From the time we brought the twins home we have been asked lots of questions.  Babies seem to be an open invitation for strangers to ask questions.  Make it 2 babies and you better count on having at least 3 conversations with strangers in any public place.  Truthfully we don't mind and rarely are we in such a rush that it is inconvenient to answer these questions.  From the beginning we got some basics:

"Are they twins?" (Yes)

"Are they identical?"  (No, it is a boy and girl, they can't be)

As the twins have gotten older we seem to be getting a new batch of questions. 

"Are they adopted?"  (Short answer is yes)

"What nationality are they?"  (American)  "No, where are they from?" (Odessa's uterus)

"Did you go over to get them?"  (No, they are from Seattle/I birthed them/or a combination)

"How long have you had them?"  (Since before birth)

The last two always surprise us when the first question isn't asked first and there is only one parent  with them, as if mixed race babies couldn't be a possibility.

We have even gotten:

"Well that is barely even adoption then?"  (Well yes it is)

"Is that even possible?"  (Nope, we're just a figment of your imaginations woooowoooowooooo)

Sometimes these questions lead to great conversations.  Sometimes they look at us as if we are super strange, and they don't know what to say next.  Other times I think they are left confused and we wish we had a way of  continuing the conversation after they have had more time to process what we have just shared.

Remember God brings families together in all sorts of wonderful ways.  We would encourage you to always give grace to any family and don't be taken back by the answers you may receive.

We understand it is a lot to wrap you head around, and truthfully we do just give just a short answer out of convenience sometimes, but we will always give an answer with a smile because we will never quit sharing our story of how God blessed us.

It Has Been A Bit

Updating the blog hasn't been at the top of the list lately...life to the fullest has been!  With our older girls in different schools this year, activities, ministries, sickness, and teething we have barely had time to sit lately.

Today I have a few quite minutes with babies sleeping and big girls independently working so I though I would give a quick update on twins.

Amos - loves to eat peas, carrots, squash, apple sauce, prunes, pears, teething crackers - pretty much anything as long as he can stick his fingers in his mouth after each bite to suck it down.  Rolls around like a champ and is starting to stick his little bum in the air for a crawling position but has no idea what to do once he is there.  Is currently working on 4 teeth!  Enjoys his big sisters immensely and is so excited every time they walk in the room.

Irene - is almost sitting independently.  Has discovered the cats and loves being in the same room as them, though most of the time they ignore her existence.  Is OK with eating and definitely prefers the sweeter foods.  Beat her brother in the first tooth race and is working on 2 more.  Primary form of communication is blowing spitty raspberries sometimes with the assistance of her thumb in her mouth - or your finger, or your shoulder.

The past 7 months have flown by and I feel like we have settled into our new "normal" pretty well.  "Normal" now looks like a house that is a little messier, lots of laundry, meals that aren't always cooked from scratch, a yard that isn't neatly tended,  and showers are optional.  BUT if "normal" also looks like playing peek-a-boo to try and coax a giggle, snuggles after full tummies, seeing big girls read to babies, smiles of joy when an accomplishment is made, and snuggles in bed to meet the need of night time feedings.   Life with 4 kids is busy and blessed, but we wouldn't have it any other way. 

Reflections

Today is the one year anniversary of the amazing, scientific conception of our adopted embryos.  One year ago Amos and Irene "woke up" for the the first time in almost 4 years.  It has been an busy year filled with appointments, lack of sleep, doubling the number of children we had and huge blessings. 

First baby picture

In addition to the two lives God entrusted us to raise, there was a third sole who awoke a year ago which He decided to have come straight to its' eternal home.  We have not forgotten.  We have taken the time to count her life as worthy.  We have mourned her. We have named her Vivian Xing.  Her name (we have always felt she was a girl) means Life Star.  She is counted among the heavenly hosts and her story matters.  

More reflections can be made by visiting the September blog posts of last year. 

Currant blog posts are made with one handed typing serenaded by fussy baby noises.  It is easier to upload photos one handed then type, so you are invited to enjoy the remainder of this post in photographic reflection.

 

 

100 Days

Today marks a big milestone for Amos and Irene's genetic culture.  Today is their baek-il!  Which is their 100 day celebration (well actually 103 days at the time of getting this published, everything takes longer with babies).  In the past it wasn't uncommon for children to die in Korea before 100 days of age.  The first party a child would have been given was to celebrate that they had made it through their first 100 days in good health.  If you are interested in this tradition more can be read on it here.

On a personal level, we cannot believe how fast these 100 days have flown by.  Both babies are right on track developmentally - holding heads up, big smiles, longer stretches of sleep at night.  In the ever so trusty method of "hold your baby step on the scale, then put baby down and step on the scale again" Amos weighs 13lbs (7lbs over birth weight) and Irene is 9lbs (5lbs over birth weight)!  More scientific measurements to come later.  We are also now on the regular "well baby" check-up schedule of only seeing a Dr. once every 2 months!!! This is a huge milestone and the longest break we have had from doctors since April 2014.

Amos and Irene are pretty happy to be alive too!

We also wanted to share the answer to a question we have been asked many times.  What is the cost of doing an embryo adoption versus a traditional adoption?  Well the answer is somewhere in the middle - it isn't as cheap as an in state adoption from foster care but it isn't as expensive as an international adoption.  Our personal expenses were roughly $11,000 which covered the medical testing, medications, travel, and clinic fees.  It does not cover the cost of the embryos themselves - these ARE NOT for sale.  The family that originally created them pays for them to be stored and are in no way reimbursed for this expense.  Unlike traditional adoptions, there is no tax credit or assistance for this process.  We were blessed to have the initial expenses fully covered by the day we did our embryo transfer into Odessa's body.

But, hey, then we were pregnant!  Thus the usual medical costs of pregnancy started rolling in.  Luckily Jeff is blessed with a job that provides great health insurance.  Just to give a little perspective on our "cost" of a twin pregnancy and delivery here is what we know:  

1. All OB appointments and labs were paid in full (if they can keep mom healthy then hopefully it will be easier to deliver healthy babies, so they want to make prenatal care easy).
2. Specialist ultrasounds are expensive (about $1,200 each - we had 5) and luckily those were covered too.
3. For a cesarean birth, plus 1 healthy baby, plus a 1 baby/12 day stay in the NCIU the hospital will bill your insurance for $75,879.27 of which we paid $815.30.  

We look at it as Jeff getting an awesome raise this year!

Many thanks for continuing to follow our embryo adoption adventure.  We are mostly recovered to normal life - feel free to contact us if you want to meet our little ones.  Most likely it has been awhile and we want to see you too.

Update

I have written about 5 blog posts in my head this last month, but there has been no time to write!  So here is my best quick effort to update you on our babies being home, healthy, and happy.  WARNING this may be a little scattered.

First some cute pictures:

Photo credit to Kellie Parry

OK now that you made it this far, here are some of the nitty-gritty details.  We made it home on May 24, 12 days after babies were born.  The big girls were still at Odessa's moms house so we had a day to settle in.  After they made it home, school ended 2 days later and we had a crash course in being a family of 6.  Jeff was still able to take some time off of work and was able to be home most of the next 3 weeks.  We are now pretty settled in despite the babies not having much of a schedule.

Babies are now 7 weeks old and doing great.  They are each more than 2 pounds over birth weight and most nights able to go right back to sleep after most night feedings!   We are still up several times a night, but being able to go back down is key.  Odessa has healed VERY well from surgery and is up and active; most days able to prepare 2 out of 3 meals and keep up with big girls summer schedule.  Life is mostly eating around here - in order for babies to be gaining so well that means they have to eat...a lot.  Which means Odessa eats...a lot!  Hard to do all of this in our current heat wave, but we are doing well and investing in many frozen treats!  Good news, Odessa's feet have returned to normal sized, it took 5 weeks for swelling to go down.

We were able to meet 1 goal - our nursery was complete the day before the babies due date.  They happen to be almost 4 weeks old by then, but hey it is done! It is so nice to be able to find everything to take care of them quickly.  It turned out being a conglomeration of memory pieces and things we think are special.  Here is a peak at this special space:

We feel spoiled in this space, it is a luxury we didn't have
 with our first babies.

Final bit of exciting news...we are officially official!

We were told when we adopted our embryos that the final piece of the adoption was having the legal birth certificates in hand.  There was very little risk that the embryos could be claimed by the family who had them created, but the was a possibility that they could seek contact.  With these simple pieces of paper, Amos and Irene are officially Kershners.

Whew what a 10 days!

Our last post was quickly thrown up on "baby eve".  I would now like to recap the last ten days to the best of my memory.  First of all here is how things looked when we went to bed on May 11:

The next morning we headed out at 5:30 in the morning for the hospital.  Even though our birth plan had changed, we were still able to have our 2 labor support friends able to join us - which was a huge blessing.  By 8:00 am I was being wheeled into the operating room.  The scariest time of the entire event was getting the spinal.  No other support person is allowed in the operating room for this time - and there is a needle going into my back!!  I made it through and was soon joined by Jeff and Holly (who was also support person for baby "B" should she need to leave the room).   Because it was a twins delivery and having students present for the surgery - there was about 20 medical folk in the room.  The entire procedure was done in about 45 minutes and was an emotional roller coaster of hearing babies first cries, smelling some odd burning smell that we were told was normal, nausea, and having both babies leave to room (unexpected, especially for baby "A", but we had Kelly right out side the door to follow him).  It was a very overwhelming and fast experience; and truthfully I didn't feel as if I had time to transition from "pregnant" to "mom of twins".  It was a very different experience from the births we had with our older girls - not bad just different and it took longer to wrap my brain around.

Amos was able to leave the nursery within the first hour- after his temperature stabilized- and didn't need any further monitoring.  Irene kept us on our toes a little more.  She got to stay with the friendly ladies in the nursery for a week!  While the babies had been born at 36 weeks gestation, Irene was more like a 33 or 34 week baby (which was the whole reason we ended up having to deliver early via c-section).  She had some trouble stabilizing her breathing and heart rate for a few days.  Because of these issues, eating was also a problem.  The first night was the scariest as we were pretty sure she would be fine, but were unsure if our hospital would be able to take care of her needs or if she would have to be transported to another facility that was better prepared to care for preemie babies.  Our hospital team was fabulous and pulled everything they knew, and were in contact with several other hospitals, to keep our family together while providing the best care for Irene.  Below is how she looked for a bit.

Once she stabilized, they still had to monitor her for several days.  This was a very hard time for me.  Recovering from surgery, while balancing post delivery emotions, while teaching one baby to nurse, while having another baby in NICU, while not being able to be with older 2 daughters (there was a possible chicken pox exposure so they had to stay away) - was enough to drive this Mama a little emotionally overwhelmed.  I don't think I could have done it with out the support of Jeff,  he has been a rock through this really hard time.  

Irene has now been in our room with us for 4 days.  Her moving over meant she was stable, but didn't mean she was ready to go home.  The medical team here wanted her to gain some weight and be able to independently eat with out using the tube (the one in her nose).  That is what we have been focused on since Wednesday.  In the last 24 hours everything has clicked!  She is nursing like a champ and able to take a little fortified supplementation from a bottle afterwards to help her gain weight a little faster.  This morning her NG tube (the one in her nose) was removed!!

Together again!!!

Blessings during this time:

• We were able to attend our girls dance recital (babies had to stay at hospital though)
• My wedding ring fits again
• Odessa's mother has been amazingly flexible and had older daughters through this entire ordeal
• Having a calm time to heal after surgery
• Our great labor and delivery team helped us keep calm during the time of chaos 
• Having a preemie car seat gifted to us so we could take Irene home when the time came (she isn't big enough yet for the one we bought)
• Visitors!!
• Celebrating our 12 anniversary together with our babies
• Having an amazing nursing staff care for our family
• A garden to take a walk in
• Amazing healing for my body
• Being able to keep up with feeding 2 babies and bank milk in the freezer for later

Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers for this amazing and difficult time.  We truly do treasure and appreciate your support.  Many of you have followed our embryo adoption journey from the beginning and we hope you continue to watch how our family adventure continues to go.  While this step is complete - we have the rest of these kiddos lives to watch unfold!

And just because, one more tummy photo 10 days postpartum - 

last minute update

We have been slow to update this blog because we were hoping to put down some real information and not guesses and conjecture.  Well it took several weeks to learn some facts.  We have had days with multiple doctor visits, all sorts of different medical professionals conferencing with each other and us, and lots of changes in plans.
So here is what we know now.  Irene has stopped growing at around 3 lbs 10 oz.  When a baby stops growing there is a limited amount of time in which they can live before the placenta totally dies and they starve or suffocate.  Obviously this is not the ideal situation.  Amos is doing great.  He weighs around 5 lbs 7 oz.  He is head down and engaged for birth.  Irene is laying breach sometimes, or sometimes transverse, or sometimes head down, or sometimes dancing like Michael Jackson in Smooth Criminal.  Both babies are very strong, have a good heart beats, and have been practicing breathing and dancing.

The doctors at several hospitals have told us that we can do an induction to have the babies, but would run the risk of having the second baby get stuck and have to do a cesarean section.  While Odessa's street cred may go up for doing both popular birthing styles in one pregnancy we have decided that doesn't sound fun.

Thus, tomorrow morning at six AM we are rolling into the hospital and having a c. section for both babies.

Please keep Odessa in your prayers.  She has never had anything like this done and is fairly nervous.  Please keep Jeff in your prayers, he's a wimp when incomes to medical things and will probably pass out.  Please keep the kids in your prayers.  They have a rough time ahead of them.

And final note.  We know some of you will want to visit.  Corvallis Hospital has some very strict rules for visiting, so call first.  Once home we will need plenty of rest, so call first.  In case you missed it, call first.  Even if you are Mr.Rogers and Warren Buffett all rolled in together, call first.  Thanks.