What In The World Are We Doing

We are hoping to adopt again! That's the short story.

Now for the longer story:  We are hoping to do a domestic (in the USA), independent (no agency is helping to match us with a child), infant (baby, hopefully newborn) open adoption (birth mom will have some level of interaction, level to be determined later depending on what is best and safest for all parties involved).

And for the longest story and exactly where we are at in the process read on.

We have felt the tug to adopt again for quite some time and we were able to meet with an adoption lawyer last summer to start exploring what may be a good option for our family.  At that time we decided to pursue a domestic infant adoption.  With that in mind we had 2 options - try foster care or try to adopt privately.  At this point in our lives we decided that private would be the best option and that led to another choice - to use an agency or not.  Both options have benefits and drawbacks.  We felt led to try to adopt without an agency helping match us (if you would like more of the nitty-gritty on the benefits, drawbacks and our opinion let us know, we will mostly likely have you over to dinner to chat about it).

Even with us choosing to do an independent adoption, we still had to complete a home study to prove we are OK folks.  We are excited to announce that after 6 months of paperwork, training videos, and a home visit it was determined that we are OK folks!  Our completed home study came in the mail just a few weeks ago and we are ready to move to the next phase.

What is the next phase?  You ask with baited breath, sitting on the edge of your seat!!

Glad you asked!!

It is spreading the word.  Telling everyone we know we are looking for a baby and their momma to love.  Sending out our profile books and business cards to as many people possible who are willing to share them.  And the scariest of all, posting on social media what we are doing.  In some ways we are super excited to tell everyone, but we also know we are opening ourselves up to potential criticism as we so openly announce our personal beliefs about human life.

So there ya go, that's where we are at.  If you are interested in hearing more or would be willing to have some of our printed material on hand as a resource, the email address on this page is still active or send us a message on FB.

Perspective

I want to jump back to our previous adoption for a moment.  Amos and Irene were in the freezer as embryos for nearly 4 years before they were given to chance to wake up.  They are not even 4 years old yet.  If you add the time of the pregnancy, they have been awake just a bit longer than they were frozen.  This truth hit me recently and really gave me perspective.  Some days are really hard with twin 3 year olds. But a shift in perspective can really change my attitude.

This perspective has carried over to our next adoption as well.  Roughly the time they were going into the freezer is when we really started to feel the tug towards adoption, it just took us that long to find the route God had called us to.  They were there waiting.  We now feel the same tug again.  We have opened the door we feel called to but there is a lot of waiting in adoption.  Remembering the perspective we have learned is key to tolerating the wait.  We will continue to be confident that we will discover the next situation God has called us to adopt from.

Here We Go Again!

As promised in our Christmas card, here is where we are planning on putting updates concerning our next adoption here.  So far there isn't a lot to update!  We are in the process of getting all the paperwork into our home study agency and after that is complete, we set the appointment for the home inspection.  Then we wait... and look... and spread the word that we are looking.

You may wonder what we are looking for.  We aren't all that picky when it comes to adopting.  We would love to help a expectant mother with an unplanned pregnancy who is looking to adopt out her child.  However, we would also be overjoyed with a toddler.  Our family is already racially diverse and we love the infinite varieties that God put in this world.  While nobody wishes for sick or disabled children,we have experience working with children with physical and/or mental disabilities and would open to a child of any ability level.

We would love to have you follow our journey, ask questions, and pray for us as we embark on this next adventure in family growth.  In the mean time, feel free to scroll through the old posts and see where our last family growth adventure took us.

Human Again

It has been just over 2 years since we started out embryo adoption journey.  Now, for the first time in two years, I can say 'I feel human!'      

Even something as simple as hormone birth control really messes with how I feel and respond to life.  Right from the beginning I was put on not 1 but 2 types of birth control at the same time to start preparing my body for the transfer.  It only grew from there with more hormone therapy, pregnancy, delivery/surgery, new born babies, and continuing to breast feed.  We knew going into this that it wasn't going to be easy, but that didn't make all the hormone crazies any less present.  Watch out world!  This momma is back and she is stronger than ever!!  Closets are now being cleaned, meals are being prepared, organization is happening, and I'm putting in my two cents about the garden this year too.  And now my goal is to become a smaller human again...chasing 2 crawling babies may help with that.

And now, a baby update.  They are acting more like little humans everyday.  They are both crawling and into everything.  They also love to stand.  No attempts at taking any steps yet but they can stand for several seconds without holding onto anything. Amos loves to eat, especially meat!  Irene is still more petite, but can hold her own with eating especially if it is crunchy and salty. They have 15.5 teeth between the two of them.  I'm pretty sure they are both saying "momma"...not sure if it is in reference to me or just a fun sound to make, but I'm totally going to claim it.  Amos is super ticklish and has the best giggle ever.  Irene...well look at her picture.  She pretty much looks like that most of the time, taking everything it and making you work for a laugh.  You know the wheels are turning behind those eyes.  I think we have hit a natural routine with both of them taking 2 naps and sleeping through the night as well.

We recently learned that Irene is anemic.  While it can be a concern and symptom of many things in an infant, it appears that she just has low iron.  This can be common in premature babies, so we are hoping it is something she will just grow out of.  Currently we are treating with supplements, which she takes like a champ, but it is something we will have to continue monitoring.  Monitoring means blood draws...probably several over the next year.  Please pray that her little body responds well to the supplements and the blood draws will be few.

Next month we will be having a big potluck shindig to celebrate the babies birthday.  We wanted to post the info here just in case someone reading this blog was missed in the other forms of invitation.  All are welcome, please see the details below.

New Questions

From the time we brought the twins home we have been asked lots of questions.  Babies seem to be an open invitation for strangers to ask questions.  Make it 2 babies and you better count on having at least 3 conversations with strangers in any public place.  Truthfully we don't mind and rarely are we in such a rush that it is inconvenient to answer these questions.  From the beginning we got some basics:

"Are they twins?" (Yes)

"Are they identical?"  (No, it is a boy and girl, they can't be)

As the twins have gotten older we seem to be getting a new batch of questions. 

"Are they adopted?"  (Short answer is yes)

"What nationality are they?"  (American)  "No, where are they from?" (Odessa's uterus)

"Did you go over to get them?"  (No, they are from Seattle/I birthed them/or a combination)

"How long have you had them?"  (Since before birth)

The last two always surprise us when the first question isn't asked first and there is only one parent  with them, as if mixed race babies couldn't be a possibility.

We have even gotten:

"Well that is barely even adoption then?"  (Well yes it is)

"Is that even possible?"  (Nope, we're just a figment of your imaginations woooowoooowooooo)

Sometimes these questions lead to great conversations.  Sometimes they look at us as if we are super strange, and they don't know what to say next.  Other times I think they are left confused and we wish we had a way of  continuing the conversation after they have had more time to process what we have just shared.

Remember God brings families together in all sorts of wonderful ways.  We would encourage you to always give grace to any family and don't be taken back by the answers you may receive.

We understand it is a lot to wrap you head around, and truthfully we do just give just a short answer out of convenience sometimes, but we will always give an answer with a smile because we will never quit sharing our story of how God blessed us.

It Has Been A Bit

Updating the blog hasn't been at the top of the list lately...life to the fullest has been!  With our older girls in different schools this year, activities, ministries, sickness, and teething we have barely had time to sit lately.

Today I have a few quite minutes with babies sleeping and big girls independently working so I though I would give a quick update on twins.

Amos - loves to eat peas, carrots, squash, apple sauce, prunes, pears, teething crackers - pretty much anything as long as he can stick his fingers in his mouth after each bite to suck it down.  Rolls around like a champ and is starting to stick his little bum in the air for a crawling position but has no idea what to do once he is there.  Is currently working on 4 teeth!  Enjoys his big sisters immensely and is so excited every time they walk in the room.

Irene - is almost sitting independently.  Has discovered the cats and loves being in the same room as them, though most of the time they ignore her existence.  Is OK with eating and definitely prefers the sweeter foods.  Beat her brother in the first tooth race and is working on 2 more.  Primary form of communication is blowing spitty raspberries sometimes with the assistance of her thumb in her mouth - or your finger, or your shoulder.

The past 7 months have flown by and I feel like we have settled into our new "normal" pretty well.  "Normal" now looks like a house that is a little messier, lots of laundry, meals that aren't always cooked from scratch, a yard that isn't neatly tended,  and showers are optional.  BUT if "normal" also looks like playing peek-a-boo to try and coax a giggle, snuggles after full tummies, seeing big girls read to babies, smiles of joy when an accomplishment is made, and snuggles in bed to meet the need of night time feedings.   Life with 4 kids is busy and blessed, but we wouldn't have it any other way. 

Reflections

Today is the one year anniversary of the amazing, scientific conception of our adopted embryos.  One year ago Amos and Irene "woke up" for the the first time in almost 4 years.  It has been an busy year filled with appointments, lack of sleep, doubling the number of children we had and huge blessings. 

First baby picture

In addition to the two lives God entrusted us to raise, there was a third sole who awoke a year ago which He decided to have come straight to its' eternal home.  We have not forgotten.  We have taken the time to count her life as worthy.  We have mourned her. We have named her Vivian Xing.  Her name (we have always felt she was a girl) means Life Star.  She is counted among the heavenly hosts and her story matters.  

More reflections can be made by visiting the September blog posts of last year. 

Currant blog posts are made with one handed typing serenaded by fussy baby noises.  It is easier to upload photos one handed then type, so you are invited to enjoy the remainder of this post in photographic reflection.